One of our friends has a 96 year old, widower father William, who lives several states away.  For his age, he has maintained good health for the most part, but is severely impaired with degenerative eye disease.  He can barely see.  He lives alone in an apartment but has a female companion living across the hall who cooks and assists with occasional errands.  William had a good career as an Executive and would be considered wealthy by many people.  Unfortunately, at 96, he still has all of his investments in stocks and mutual funds!  Needless to say, they have not performed well recently.

William's son who lives near him had been assisting with the investments for many years, with a good deal of 'help' from Dad.   Dad became frustrated and angry at how his son was managing his affairs and decided to 'divorce' him - both as a financial helper and a son.   He told his daughter about his decision and asked for her to take over.  Reluctantly, she agreed.  She ade the 1,000 mile round trip to meet with her father and began discussing his expectations.

When she returned to Wisconsin, she arduously interviewed several responsible financial organizations and told her father her decision.   She then began the long process of moving everything, which in turn required an enormous amount of paperwork, signatures, notarizations, phone calls, etc.

Throughout this transition, she has been put in a very tough position because her father still complains about her brothers' ineptness.   She realizes that if his investments decline, she may be seen as the cause. The current market certainly doesn't help the situation.

Just last week, she received a call from William's lady friend who was very, very upset.  William had asked her to go to his bank and make a 'wire transfer' which she dutifully did.  When he learned that she authorized a $20 bank fee to pay for the transfer he yelled at her for being so dumb.  He then called the bank to threaten to close his accounts.  William is very cheap and very demanding.   He is known for firing dentists and doctors, changing banks, etc.  His lady friend cooks for him daily, but he never offers to help pay for her groceries, only for the food he actually eats.

So, here is one of our friends trying to help Dad.  She is put in the middle between Dad, Dad's lady friend and her 'divorced' brother.   And in this poor economy, it is virtually impossible to improve his financial situation - at least in the short term.  A potentially no-win situation for our friend.

Sincerely,

Lynn Wilson
Founder, The CareGiver Partnership